Nigerian drummer and musician Ara The Drummer has shared her perspective on intimacy, relationships, and personal boundaries, stating that sex goes beyond physical pleasure and involves a deeper level of connection.
Speaking on the Under Her Skin Podcast, Ara said people often underestimate the significance of sexual intimacy and the access it gives another person into their lives.
“Sex is not just enjoyment; it’s literally just putting your life’s plan in somebody’s hands,” she said.
The drummer compared sexual intimacy to sharing private information, adding: “You don’t give someone the PIN to your ATM card or the password to your email. When you sleep with someone, they can access you.”
Ara further explained that, from her perspective, intimacy creates a deep bond between two people.
“You are giving them the code to your spirit, to your realm, and they can do and undo with you,” she said.
Reflecting on why some people attach certain boundaries to physical intimacy, she questioned why some women make statements about specific forms of contact.
“Why do you think some girls say things like, ‘Unless you didn’t touch my breast’? Why do you think they say those kinds of things? It’s deep,” Ara stated.
She added that regardless of how people define the act, intimacy itself creates a connection.
“Some people would say, ‘I didn’t touch the breast, I only entered from behind,’ but you still entered. Once you give someone that access, they can summon you; they can do anything to you.”
The veteran drummer also admitted that some of her personal experiences have shaped her views on relationships.
“I have fallen many times because I laid with the wrong person,” she revealed.
